Blah blah, I play instruments and eat lots of junk food. I like sounds and cute animals. Sometimes I cant remember who I am(on days where I dont want to go to school). Kik me at "pumpkinfucku" and follow me on twitter at "pumpkinfucku" as well c:

 

butimthevillain:

brolinapproved:

catchaglimpseofalleble:

nikkysclit:

Can you not?

AHG, I fucked this up!

omfg I’ve seen the high school musical post about 15 times and I’ve never understood why it had so many notes. Now I finally understand

WHY WOULD YOU NOT REBLOG BOTH PARTS DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO FIND THIS?!?!?!

butimthevillain:

brolinapproved:

catchaglimpseofalleble:

nikkysclit:

Can you not?

AHG, I fucked this up!

omfg I’ve seen the high school musical post about 15 times and I’ve never understood why it had so many notes. Now I finally understand

WHY WOULD YOU NOT REBLOG BOTH PARTS DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO FIND THIS?!?!?!

(Source: doctor-in-a-policebox)

5000letters:

I find it really strange that when you’re in a long distance friendship or relationship all you want to do is see that person and being around them is the biggest most wonderful deal but there are people who interact with them
all the time, on the street and in the classroom and in the shops and it always makes me jealous because you want to be with this person so much and for everyone else they’re nothing special but for you they’re everything special

seeminglydeepstatement:

somefantasticallies:

vivalatrench:

mrsugarpink:

rapewhistled:

followmehome:

It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.

It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.

It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.

It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…

its not “fruit”, its dividing cells that accumulate fructose…

it’s not delivery. it’s digiorno.

It’s not a scene, it’s a god damn arms race

It’s not “levioSA”, it’s “leviOsa”

Maybe it’s Maybelline 

smitethepatriarchy:

holymashedpotatoesbatman:

klinki:

self diagnosing is so hard because everytime you’re like “maybe I am mentally ill” theres also a big part of you going “nah you’re probably just a naturally lazy/nasty/disgusting/useless person trying to find an excuse for your behavior” because of the institutionalized ableism that runs through everything

So go to the doctor and get an actual diagnosis?

Why don’t poor people just buy more money?

(Source: klinkingchains)

wackyshenanigans:

i have never seen a post with a plot twist like this before

This is the exact mix of wonderful and awful parenting I expect most tumblr users will display in later life.

(Source: sandpit-life)

dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

  • elbowing each other in the face
  • leg cramps
  • queefing
  • accidentally pulling each other’s hair
  • ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

  • sleepy morning sex
  • mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
  • sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
  • your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you

hermionejg:

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.

Someone get this lady a book deal because I want to read Tolstoy length books by her.

(Source: bellecs)

squarerootofpreston:

m-cmlxxv:

yesterdaysvintagenightmares:

I expect nothing less.

THE SNITCH ONE OH MY GOD

I will say no if you don’t propose with the snitch or the har